Friday, April 16, 2010

Cause and Effect

On Tuesday night I studied as much as I could for my exam. Eventually I got bored and called a friend over. I wouldn't say we are good friends, but, we're working on it. Anyways, my friend came over with a few beers, because she is trying to be a good friend. She was at a regatta, or at least around some boats and was already drunk so there were some beers left.

My problem is I like this girl and she knows it. She's too nice to tell me to fuck off and too turned off to just sleep with me out of pity. So basically I am running out of ideas. I keep inviting her out and we both insist it's not a date, and it isn't. But, she knows I want it to be and I know she knows. So what the fuck is she still doing. Like do you get my dilemma it's as if she is waiting around for me to execute the perfect move that'll make her say; "I don't know why I didn't notice 'x' about you" Or maybe there is no move maybe she is just waiting for me to pounce on her and be more assertive like men who commit rape.

I dunno man... I know what the dreamwatchers think. They probably think she really wants to be friends and is waiting for me to grow up and stop chasing. But, seriously I think everyone already has enough friends. I swear to god if one more girl wants to be my friend, I'll punch her in the mouth, then I'll rape her.

But enough about me.... here are a few things you should do.

1) Learn how to make a paper crane
2) tie your shoes
3) turn down the volume on everything
4) eat more fruits


Kid Vincent said...

You could artificially inseminate her. Then she'll have to love you.