Thursday, April 23, 2009

He still use a scanner? Yo I'm cooler than that guy.

I am cleaning my room.

I am a firm believer in Fung Shui being complete bullshit.
Thus I absolve not to rearrange anything aside from the crap that hangs out my carpet.

  • Dust
  • Cat Hair
  • Dead Skin
  • Crumbs
  • Spilt Beer, Water and Bodily Fluids
  • My deadbeat feline companion Arlo.
The cat photographed above is not Arlo. But he is a cat. And he is rather ugly, thus disposing of Bent's theory that girls will go lady gaga over our blog if we put pics of kitties and things on every post.
I would show you a picture of Arlo but I broke my digital camera very recently whilst trying to prepare a series of photographs for the Side Order of Style "What does a Genius dress up as for everyday besides Halloween and Senior Prom?" Collection.
I put it up on my television and my seemingly suicidal Canon SD1000 Digital Elph leapt to it's "Lens Error" demise.
i H8 technology guyz...
So here I am getting resourceful, as per usual. Like that time I went to knock boots only to find that someone has stolen my junk and replaced it with actual junk.
  • Tires
  • Diapers
  • VHS copies of What Women Want and Gladiator
  • Rusty nails
  • NES Cartridges of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (Which was sweet cause that's like the best game ever)
  • The entire Motley Crue discography
  • Cookie Bags (my mom suggested that one) lawl... what's a cookie bag?
  • Banana Peels
  • A phat stack of loose leaf (EARTH DAY WAS YESTERDEY GUYZ CUM-ON!!!)
  • Back issues of Rolling Stone Magazine (yeah, I went there. Just cause Obama is on the cover like every month doesn't mean you guys are "cool" or "progressive")
Anyways, because I invented DIY (seriously, some guy asked me to help him start a record label when I was like 4 years old and I just said "DO IT YOURSELF!") I melted all the junk with my lazer *zzzztttt zzzztttt* vision and formed it all into one proportionately-sized, trash-based reproductive organ.


So as I was saying. I've been making due without my Digital Elph (which isn't actually any kind of Elf, digital or analog... Lame I know...) by investing in all manner of outdated photographic medium.
I shot a whole roll on a disposable camera and it turned out incredible. The nice folks at shoppers drug mart who know all about my various diseases and sexual inclinations even gave me a disc so I could upload my pictures right onto the Book. That's facebook for short.
This week I also copped a Polaroid camera from the 80's off craigslist. They don't make film anymore though so I have to buy the expired stuff from other people off the internet. *sigh*
It's worth it though.
You ask, "Why not buy a new digital camera or get your old one fixed?"
  • I'm kind of poor
  • I like having real prints of photos no matter how small or over exposed
  • ur a dumb hoe who don't know nuttin' bout NEthing NEways.
Besides, if I did, what would I blog about?


Jessica Catherine said...

Loved the slang...
And you def should buy Polaroids cause now you have two cameras.
And you aren't kinda broke, you have a job. Even though your card didn't work for a small meal at Wendy's EVEN THOUGH you got paid maybe 24 hours before that meal..
It's okay.
Save up. You have nothing else better to do this summer.

P.s did you mean subscribing as in "follow you" (Twitter copiers... pfft Google)
If so I did.
So return the favour, and Subscribe to me brother from another mother.

Jessica Catherine said...

pps We should all go watch X-Men, I would OBVIOUSLY need to go for free, cause I've already paid.
P.s you TOTALLY coulda came on Saturday night, we ended up going after ten. You would have had time to run from King/Bath to Coxwell station.

Anywho, I have a link if you want to watch it online.