Monday, January 26, 2009

The Truth Behind Thursdays


This is my latest installment in the "Truth Series"  This series has tackled some challenging topics, "The Truth about Infancy", "The Truth about Wireless Technology" and "The Truth about Math" just to name a couple. 

You don’t even know about Thursdays.  Seriously.  You think it’s just
another day of the week?  Baahaha fool.  Fool I say.  Increase the text
size in your web browser now, because I don’t want you to strain to read this.  I want you to lean way back in your chair, I want you relaxed.  I want you as relaxed as I am right now, I am at work and I have altered a co-workers chair to recline much more than necessary, and when she comes back to this desk she will probably be upset, but that won’t be until tomorrow, I’ll cross that bridge when it tries to bite me in the face.

The reason I want you relaxed is because I want your brain waves seduced and ready to accept everything you are about to read without first wondering if its logical or makes any kind of sense of the traditional kind.  My argument is as follows.

Thursdays are the best days of the week.  Everything mysteriously good happens on a Thursday.  You want some examples?  Today I got handed the easiest task to do at work, a task that will last at least two work days.  A task so brain numbingly simple that I can do it with maximum efficiency while listening to music, browsing the web for lulz and writing this to give you guys some lulz too.  The best part is my boss e-mailed me and said it was a special assignment! 

So…what have you guys been up to?  You liking the webpage?  There’s been a lot of changes since September I know.

Sorry I wasn’t sure what to say next and I kind of got lulled into complacency by this comfy work chair, sure I could just delete those parts but you can’t delete life and it would be unfair of me to deny you guys the pleasure of seeing just how my creative spirit works.  I was still making a point about the universe and how it works.  Tuesdays are the opposite of Thursdays, everything bad always seems to happen on a Tuesday.  That’s why I started vote Tuesday’s, so that they would suck a bit less.  Don’t ask me for examples, I’m not talking about big catastrophes, it’s like you forget your hat on a really cold day, any time something like that happens to me, I always seem to end up saying, “Of course, on a Tuesday”

If you want to get into a real philosophical debate you could make the argument that this is a self fulfilled prophecy.  Meaning that, because I believe that Tuesdays suck, I’m subconsciously sabotaging myself to make my ideas of Tuesday become a reality.  This may be true, however that doesn’t explain the inverse relationship I share with Thursdays, I can’t subconsciously make good things happen to me on Thursdays, of course there are people that believe you actually can but they are the same people who believe Heroes is a good show.

1 comments:

jamesforlife said...

FUCK THURSDAYS

Fast shout to da spot.. keepin it really real.