Some advice

So, we’ve known each other for quite a while now haven’t we? I think it’s time I bestow some of my great wisdom upon you readers in an attempt to make this world a more civil and happy place. My mother often tells me this story that her father once told her. My grandfathers friend was sitting around in his house, just another regular day. He was not planning on leaving the house that day but some friends invited him out and he had a few things to do anyway so after some coercion he decided to leave his house. Unfortunately on this day he should have gone with his gut and stayed in his house as he planned. He ended up dying that day after getting into a car accident (I won’t get into the details but it was not pretty). Now I’m unsure whether this story is true or not, but my mom always brings it up when I am going out but don’t really want to...

I wish I had consulted my mother before leaving the house last night so she could have recounted this story to me once again and perhaps swayed my decision to leave the house. Although my situation was not as grim as my grandfather’s story but similar. “Come onnnnnn” “Just reach.”  Cries I heard from my friends, my mind still wasn’t made up.... eventually I gave in.  Here is my first piece of advice kids..go with your first instincts, always. Anyway, I get to where I’m going and everything is cool.. getting my drink on and whatever. Then I decide to take my phone out. Now I’m sure you all know where this is going. Drinking + cellular devices = disaster waiting to happen.

Let’s skip all the details of how I made myself look like a complete asshat and go straight to the disdain I am feeling towards myself today after reading all of the text messages I was sending out. Imagine you step in some mud, then right after that you step in some dog, cow and duck shit all mixed into one. That’s like half way to the slimeyness level I am feeling today.. So my second piece of advice for you kids out there is keep your phone in your pants. Nothing good will come of it, you aren’t being cute or suave. You’re just being an idiot.

My final word of advice to all you readers out there is stick to what you know. I'm not a big drinker, I don't even like drinking that much. So for me to go out there and get to drinking how I did was obviously not a good game plan.

Oh....you already knew these things? So it was just me who was unaware..? So then why the eff am I wasting my time.. Well anyway, carry on with your day then.

As my friends Gert and Bert used to say....stay alert, stay safe.