Friday, November 21, 2008


The names in this story have been changed to protect the innocent.

You know what that means, right folks?....No, not Santa Clause and presents....No, not even drunk parents and big dinners. IT MEANS IT’S ALMOST MY BIRTHDAY. Yeah, but that’s not what I wanted to talk about. Winter means the lion in my backyard is back.. Yeah, that’s right. There’s a lion that lives in my backyard during the winter.  Sounds crazy right? But it’s is definitely true...BELEVE ME..It all began 2 winters ago. I was with a friend of mine, Brian, outside of my back door; it was pretty cold that night so we wanted to get back inside quickly, I think we were coming back from McDonalds. As I was going down the stairs to the back door, I noticed some rather large paw prints on the ledge, I turn and say to my friend

“Yo Brian, look how big these paw prints are..”,

“Woah, ya those are huge..I’ve been seeing those here lately.” He replied.

“Ya me too! They look like lion tracks or something”

“HAHA, YEAH!...hmm, so there’s a lion living back here...?”

“Nooo...there can’t be.. ... haha..can there?”

Flash forward about two weeks from this point.... I was with another friend of mine, Seth, we got out of his car and started walking towards the side of the house. As we started going down the path we heard a loud growling noise, very loud and deep. We stopped dead. Looked at each other and slowly started to creep back as the growl got louder. We got into the open and sprinted to the front door and I franticly punch in the code. We got in the house and walked down to the basement..

“WTF was that@!” Seth said, confused by what had happened.

“Yo.. It was the LION!..Haven’t you seen the paw prints?!”

“No.., there’s a lion that lives in your backyard?”

“Yup..There is a lion that lives in my backyard.. Brian and I have been seeing tracks for a few weeks now..”

“Shit man.. Well, I guess we can’t raise our voices anymore, amirite?!” (If you don’t get this you are LLLAAAAMMMMMEEEEE).


Fast forward a few weeks.  The whole gang was chillin in the basement. At this point we were quite certain there was a lion living in my backyard. Seth and Brian had exchanged stories at an earlier date. However, I was the only one who had been present for both incidents. We decide to go out for food. I can’t remember what it was but it was probably McDonads, because we are all scumbags. (Sidebar:  You don’t even want to see the kinds of things we order at McDonalds... Sometimes it gets way out of line.. like one time I ate 20 nuggets and fries at around 4:00am.. Then ate another 20 nuggets and fries at around 1:00pm the same day.) So we all get inside, sit down, and start getting our food out to commence destroying it. Suddenly we all hear a very loud snow crunching noise coming from outside..  Brian, Michael, another friend of mine, and I all looked at the door in horror... The noise got louder..I look at them and say in a very slow and serious voice..

“It’s the lion..”

Rusi and Illest Bent Handstyle stare at me with a look of bewilderment before starting to laugh and ‘wtf?’ at what I just said.

“No we are serious” Brian tells them.

“There is a lion that lives back there...”  I quickly run down the previous encounters with the lion, as the noise is getting louder still and now it’s speeding up. I can see from the expressions on their faces that they are still not convinced, but I don't have time to deal with that. Brian and Michael look at me.. I know what they want me to do. After much hesitation, I muster up as much courage as I can, and slowly get up and move towards the door. Someone had left it slightly open, this happens from time to time because the lock will come out and stop the door from closing. As I approached the door I could feel the tension rise in the room.. I quickly whip the door open and brace myself for a head on lion attack....


“It’s Seth...LOL.” He looks at me with a bag of salt in his hands. Everyone inside starts rofling. “WE THOUGHT YOU WERE THE LION!!” We didn’t notice Seth was not in the basement yet, he was outside salting the path, it gets MAD icy in the winter.

So it was a false alarm in the end. This caused a great divide, those who had previously seen lion tracks or heard the noises still believe there is a lion. But those who had not, said that this proves the lion does NOT exist, and it's just our imaginations. Well..Winter is upon us once more, so we will see if the lion returns.


Couture Carrie said...

Fantastic pics and writing!


Tina :) said...

I love the way you wrote this. :)


heartofpearl♥ said...

Fierce :)