Thursday, September 25, 2008

Cubicle Adventures


I almost fell out of my chair at work today. The whole floor received new chairs and I never thought they would recline that far. In hindsight I am definitely impressed. (The chair did almost recline to a completely parallel position with the floor.) The excitement of the moment was almost as intense as the hot shame of embarrassment I felt as I flailed my hands wildly to maintain my balance. I admit a few chuckles of joy escaped but I clasped my hands tight around my own mouth lest any serious co-workers, or worse yet, bosses should see the mild (chipotle?) adventure I was having at my cubicle.

After everything settled down and I regained my composure, I started to wonder if I should feel bad for not having all my attention focused at the immediate tasks at hand. But one of my bosses offered me a secluded corner desk space with a window. And now no one can see what I’m doing and that simple fact alone is driving my productivity downwards.

As I was hydrating, as any good natured elite athlete does several times a day. I spilled water on my easy iron shirt. I like the easy iron shirt and tie combo mix. Today fortunately I also wore a sweater vest, and so my tie wasn’t ruined. So I’m contemplating taking off my shirt, but I don’t think that would fly, even in this new corner office position. Somebody is bound to hand me some file, and wearing nothing but my tie would give them the wrong impression. But why should I care!? Impressions are so dumb. When you get down to the basis of life…bah forget it. Fine here it is… (this might get quasi philosophical) there is only truth. Lies are things people say, a lie is added upon what is true. Things happen, people walk, talk, live, ride bicycles, and this is inherently and fundamentally …true. Because it happened. The fact that it happened makes it true. So an impression of the truth is really none of my concern and what perceived notion of reality somebody has should hold little water with me. . In the end the water mark vanished in like ten seconds and I didn’t remove any of my articles of clothing, much to the chagrin of many female co-workers I am sure.

2 comments:

Nat-attack said...

tres funny, but i lost you after your philosophical garbagio...but i can't belive i was not there to witness you in your apparel. a shirt and sweater and a TIE...no way...and you dropped water and almost fell off....oh man i can't believe i missed all that!

jamesonthego said...

I have now added your blog to my bookmarks on my phone. So you better keep your shit tight, cuz I'm watching now!