Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Just Ask

Man, I thought I was losing my mind! Luckily my doctor says it's just mad cow.

Alright so it's been awhile huh? Well Vincent's back and is ready to get in your face.

Girls.... They're enough to drive a completely sane and normal intelligent man to the point where he wonders if it would be easier convincing himself he's gay.
I'm not gonna lie, I think my love life would be easier if I were gay. Cause dudes always think alike. I'd be thinking "We should hook up" and there's a 99.9% chance the guy's thinking the same thing... that last 0.01% would be dedicated to thinking about food. And a sandwich would fix that problem pretty easy.
Too bad buttsecks is gross...
Now me being a very straight male faces me with the dilemma of dealing with females. Men's only true mental adversary; not because they're logical, but because they're CRAZY and therefore men's straightforward minds cannot wrap their heads around it all.

I would give anything to get my paws on a brain machine. I could put the little electrodes on women's craniums and delve into the perilous maze of death that is the female mind. I would learn what makes getting attention so desirable, why they can't just say F*** it and forget about what everyone else thinks, and why they insist on being "old fashioned". Last time I checked, Betty Crocker was living alone with 12 cats.
Not cool.
Now I want to ask every girl out there to do me a favour. If you like a dude, ask them out. Chances are they're not gonna be like "OH MAN!!! I'm not in control of the situation, my ego is deflated! There is absolutely no way I can do anything except reject this girl heavily and perhaps even in public!". I know most guys would be flattered and would appreciate the gesture.
I'll even make you an offer. If you ask me, Evan Jamal Vincent, from 24th street out on a date. I GUARANTEE that I will say yes and go out with you.

That's a promise.

Although for dudes... I'm sorry but I can't guarantee I'll say yes. I don't really swing that way. Sorry man...