Friday, June 01, 2007

Chill Out/Calm Down

So there’s been a bit of a hiatus since the last time I’ve posted, and a few people have asked, if not demanded that I go back into some unfinished tales, mainly ‘The Ryerson Adventure’ and ‘The True Story’ these stories will be finished when they are finished and will be posted when I post them, so until then go listen to gangster rap. But to calm your hate, I do have something for you today.

I’ve been planning on posting this since winter times, but school kept getting in the way, and I wanted to have a decent size list. Now that I’ve finished my last exam I’m done doing work that will pay off big time later and can now do work that will pay small amounts now. This is a list of nouns (people, places and or things) that need to either chill out or calm the hell down or sometimes both. Two things to remember, some of these things have been cooking since winter times, and this is my list, and if you don’t like it you can watch MTV. Without further ado, here’s the list.

BROS - They claim the first spot. Do I really need an explanation? These dudes ruined polos for me, ruined sandals for me, and will prolly ruin more things for me in coming months to years. To top if off they don’t know how to use the internet, and are always asking why I use firefox. I wish bros had never existed.

Fur On Hoods - Wow, this one was been long coming eh? They look great I know, but EVERYONE has them now, it was too much for me, luckily it’ll be six months till this frustrates me again.

Blonde Girls - It’s my list, I can put this here if I want.

Girls in university - Read above.

MTV - This also includes anyone who watches MTV on a consistent basis, or anyone who tuned into ‘The Hills’ after show.

Fish - Okay, this is a two-pronged one. One for the people, I don’t know who you are eating these fish, but stop. And two, the fish, they had it coming swimming around like they know something we don’t.

Birds - See fish; replace swimming with flying. (I like parrots though)

Beyonce - I liked her better when she wasn’t a mega artist corporate marketing machine, maybe that's just an excuse, I just want you outta my grill

People Who
Like Music - Okay I actually don’t know anyone who doesn’t like music, and I hope I never meet that person, but the thought crossed my mind, and I became so upset I bit my tongue.

Akon - This one is iffy, I thought Akon was the male version of Ashanti, he had no singles without some mega artist backing him, but recently he has some catchy tunes, and I saw him in an interview speaking fairly intelligently on the hot ‘blood diamond topic, and I have respect for him now, so he’s pretty much on the list, due to the past; Which should never be forgotten.

Pete Wentz - Alright, we get it, you write most of the lyrics, Patrick just sings them, and you ARE the front man even though you are the bassist, which is pretty impressive, but let some other people from your band talk during interviews. Take a lesson from Tokyo Police Club, their front man is the bassist but he’s not super annoying ala toi.

The South - What. The. Hell. Who is the exec signing these asshole ‘rappers’ who specialize in dance moves rather then lyrics. They must know that their rhymes leave us wanting because you can barely hear what they’re saying over their dumb ass south dance friendly beat. Thank goodness for lil’ Wayne (Weezie F Baby) or I would write off the south for entirely instead of telling them they just need to chill out right now. D4L, die in a fire please.

Most Homeless People - This one might seem controversial, but I know they don’t need to urinate on the sidewalk as often that they do. And until they stop making downtown smell like a toilet I reserve the right to tell them to chill out, and find an alley or something.