Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Strength: In All It's Forms

“Have you ever seen anyone this strong?” That was the question asked to me by an absolute stranger while loitering in a downtown arcade waiting for life to catch up to me…but that’s an entirely different post. He then starts flexing his biceps. My first thought was that he was trying to pick a fight with me, but that thought was replaced by a much more funny one. The funny thing is as I looked at the five foot five young Chinese man with an average build. I couldn’t help but think that I have seen at least ten people stronger than him on the way to the arcade. And if I was really pressured to think of stronger individuals I wouldn’t hesitate to name the Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan. He must have taken my pondering for silent acceptance of his strength however, because at that time he motioned for me to follow him to parts unknown.

Now I would like to add a disclaimer, that if a stranger asks you to follow him to parts unknown you should walk away briskly, and remember there is strength in numbers so travel with friends.

I start following the stranger. For a couple of reasons really, one) curiosity, two) boredom and three) I thought it might be my chance to catch a homosexual soliciting sex in a public place, which seems to be in vogue right now. The stranger (who will from here on be referred to as Strong Man) took me only about ten paces away to a big metal door.

“Ever seen anyone do this?” He asks me. By this time I’m starting to already pick up on Strong Man’s tendencies, so even though he wasn’t actually doing anything, I decided to wait patiently. Right on cue he started lining up his fist with the door. I felt my heart flutter, is he actually going to ram his fist into this door? Strong Man shoots me a sidelong glance, and whispers in a voice dripping with confidence, “It’s steel.” I nod my agreement, my knowledge of composite metals is subpar at best, but steel sounds about right. I wonder if I should tell Strong Man not to punch the door, surely nothing good can come of this act…yet if he punches the door, it would probably be the highlight of my day, and so again I wait patiently for Strong Man to prove just how strong he really is. As Strong Man stares at the door, analyzing its weak points I assumed, I could not help but become excited, and put down the angst rising in my stomach from the thought that I may actually witness something very gross. He brings his fist to the door, and time slows down. The fist stops just short of the door, and I almost throw up. He check swings once, and my mouth starts to water…twice, and my hairs stand on end……three….three times what the hell hit the door, HIT THE DOOR.

Strong Man turns to me again. Showing me his knuckles, unbruised from lack of hitting steel door. “See what I did there.” He says. O NOOO I sigh to myself, he’s just another crazy. I am so very disappointed. And have half a mind to let him know how I feel about this whole encounter. Right when I am about to voice my parting remarks, he gives me that sidelong glance that first picked my interest and whispers in the same voice devoid of any weakness, “Steel is the fourth strongest metal in the world.” Now I don’t know if he’s correct or if you can even rank steel like that in the first place without taking into account fibers and different alloys and such. But in some odd way his last comment made the whole thing worthwhile.


Rusi said...

hilariously funny, and enchantingly mystical....