Tuesday, May 11, 2010

I buy lotto tickets because they make me feel good. Before the draw there is a rush of excitement. My mind races through all the things I will say and do after I hit the jackpot.

I dream of calling in a chorus line of women to perform sexual acts for money then I secretly sit them down and offer them a chance to live out their dreams if they can tell me what it is and how they plan to get there. It would be an on the spot interview, where a desperate female succumbing to the temptation of sex for cash, is initially vulnerable, then confused, and then tormented by choice.

I can see myself speeding down the highway switching both lanes with the top down screaming out; "money aint a thang."

I imagine my new wealth would make me desire only the finest chocolate. I would fly out to each corner, or segment, of the earth and seek it out. Then I would assemble a research team consisting of a world renowned chocolatier, a professor in hydrothermal dynamics and a taste ambassador from 5 major nations. The goal would be to develop the best hot chocolate in the world, without adding milk or water.

Instead of going to the movies I would attend political galas and hold season tickets to the Noble Prize Awards. Speaking of movies, I have always wanted to make one. With my jackpot money I would make the best action movie ever. The film would be 3 hours long with explosions and kung-fu guaranteed every 5-10 minutes. There would be absolutely no Computer Generated Imagery. I plan to spend at least 5-10 million on pyrotechnics and stunt work.

I would build arcades all over the city and they would make money.

I would build a 24 hour restaurant called "4.99'rs" where every option on the menu is $4.99, cooked when ordered, with ingredients bought that day.

I might go out looking for strong hobo's. After capturing them I would put them in a training facility that teaches mixed martial arts. Within a few years I would have developed a strong core of homeless fighters and a distinguished guide for developing raw talent.

I would buy every convenience store within a 10 mile radius of my home. I would call the acquired stores Proxy Fridges. If the public wanted free access and food they would have to pass the test. Each store would have a computer game on the front, it could be chess, it could be Halo, it could be a certain top score in Raiden II. No matter what the game the difficulty will increase when someone has gained access. Also, the difficulty increases after each month. Obviously the easier games like snakes and ladders will be on stores with less than favorable stuff like large supplies of pickled onions.

If any of this stuff sounds interesting to you then buy me more tickets!!!