Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Homeboys In Space

How do Canadian strip clubs work? Do I trade my 5 dollar bills for stripper bucks? Because to me five bucks means I better be getting five shows, so that's five songs, five minutes each. If that is asking too much then we need to really think about shutting this industry down. Or at least get the government to subsidize some of the cost. Eliminating the 2 dollar bill was a ridiculous idea and is pretty much price fixing if you ask me.

But enough about my problems in the sandcastles of the north. As a CmoG member I feel the need to spread knowledge or at least what I think is ultimately important.

One day my friend lowered his head and said; "Everyone is afraid of explosions." Which is true every time you tinker with some electrical device you fear it could explode in your hands. Or when you install a new piece of free-ware you wait for the blue screen of death to confirm your stupidity. Well I have good news, you are not stupid and explosions rarely happen.

Under the latter conditions we can move to the former. Friendly Racism.

It's a problem that effects millions of friends worldwide yet till this day the symptoms go untreated. Friendly racism starts with innocent questions like; "what does bumbclat mean?" and "What is curry made of?" (<----hilarious question by the way) To more intrusive and blatantly fatuous inquires like; "So why do you like watermelon so much?" and "What is the colour of a black vagina?"

Friendly racism would be fine if it was only questions. Actually what makes friendly racism so incendiary is the assumption that being able to ask racist questions entitles the questioner to a volume of racists jokes. As if the innocence in the questioning transcends that moment and turns into a membership to all things racists. I imagine a member of this group surfs the Internet wildly, typing with no regard, words they only dreamt of saying. Looking for the most relevant racists jokes to share with their urban, Asian, and brown friends.

If you as a human being want friendly racism to stop you have to start with one friend at a time. May I suggest pulling one of the friendly racist to the side and turning on the TV. Try to watch some BET or go to the Internet and find some old UPN sitcoms. Sit down with your friendly racist and make fun of those people because they are the joke. Let your friendly racists know that its not alright to make jokes of old stereotypes unless the people you are joking about are living those stereotypes to the fullest.