Wednesday, October 21, 2009

False Prophets Inside a Giant Hot Air Ballon Face. For Real.

So I'm in the library wondering why people put their phone on vibrate then leave it in front of them. I'm wondering because often my mind drifts when it faces an illogical situation. Here is what I am having trouble with...

(cell+vibration)/distance = intensity of touch stimulus; where distance must be greater than inside your body.

So as you can see the further you get from the cell vibration the less effective it is at activating your sense of touch. I guess if you are not concerned with your sense of touch and simply want to be alerted then placing the phone on a desk in front of you will work, for instance;

(cell+vibration)x(DESK) = loud fucking noise

notice the positive relationship between the desk and cell vibration. Of course we must hold the desk constant and increase the vibration to a level suitable to make loud fucking noise.

I must excuse my self for the second formula because it only works in a perfect experimental environment. For instance under normal library hours the circumstances dictate the following formula;

the sum of[(n)x(DESK)^2 - distance]; where n is the number of cellphones vibrating between the limit of 0 - infinity, and distance is constant
= (loud fucking noise + smack in da mouth)X(intensity of smack in da mouth)

distance remains constant because we are in a cramped QUIET lab. The second formula is now exponential because again we are in a cramped QUIET lab.

prescribe your own medicine and dance. Okay stop dancing and punch. Okay stop punching. What have you learnt other than these three moves. Well its a good thing I'm here to teach you. Salivate all you want vegetables are still edible, meat must be killed and stories will be told.

Garnishing the backlash of stability will never persuade the conservative mind. And who are you not to listen if I am not to tell. Of course you should be happy. Just watch for the snakes, the liars, the hilarious to others, the options, the past, the deleted, the faces. Definitely watch for the faces.

I was with a group of people who thought I couldn't hear them. I wish I couldn't. When you get older you don't care. When you don't care you don't care.

No seriously be happy, but don't care. If you care everyone will find something else to care about. **edit** Cowards (sorry forgot that part)