Tuesday, June 09, 2009

We're Assholes And You Love It

What is it about bloggers that makes us so pretentious? Seriously, who do we think we are? Why do we write with this air of cynicism wrapped in a wispy layer of self entitlement? There are only two kind of bloggers. Arrogant assholes who really believe their words are of a divine nature, and the dude next door type blogger, every bodies best friend look what I did yesterday, I am so cool sometimes. They say sometimes so they don’t seem pretentious. How pretentious of them. I openly admit I am of the first kind. Which is fine by me, because at least I’m not underground pretentious, and I’m happy to say I don’t think anyone who writes for this underground GEM of a blog does either. Let’s look at the list.

We have Kid Vincent – his posts ooze with the confidence of a male Grizzley Bear in it’s natural habitat. Ranging from music to crazy stories, so trendy it hurts the Kid knows what he’s doing. He even throws out some emo poetry every once in a while, it’s no wonder the girls swoon for him. The only thing really going against him is his teenage age. Yes, it's something he can't help, but it's a shame he must carry around with him until the fateful day he turns 20.

Jamesforlife may be the most pretentious of us all. If you remember the early days of his iPhone video link, what would make him think people want to watch him walking home from school. But they did.

You see that’s the thing, the bloggers may be presumptuous and pompous but they’re not giving you anything you aren’t asking for. And if you aren’t asking for it, it is only because you don’t know you want it yet.

We also have Rusi, he weaves his tales around the electronic universe with seemingly absolute disregard for linear storytelling. A true master of grammar, if you do not wish you were one of the fantastic characters he creates it is probably because you have lost all faith in the world and are a cold charcoal block inside.

But who isn’t in these days of hard economic times? Rusi knows what he is writing is the truth and if you don’t get it then it’s not for you so fuck you. You have to admire that type of reckless abandon that the internet has fostered in many youth. Unfortunately it usually takes the format of an annoying counter strike playing thirteen year old. It is only after you watch Rusi at work that you can appreciate the scope of this drastic change and realize what it means. Nobody can tell me nothing because I can look it up on the internet.

Why am I lecturing you on the state of the bloggers on this site, and par extension the world? Because I felt it needed to be done. As you were.