If you've got the feeling, jump up touch the ceiling.

GEE GEE GEE GEE BABY BABY!!!

Goddamn it... 

I told a girl I was a fireman at a house party the other night. Despite what all the nay sayers had originally thought, it was probably the best ice breaker I've ever used in conversation EVER. Even better than:

"Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?" 

The girl seemed completely blown away, her socks were like at the other end of the room, I knocked them off so hard.

I'm at work right now... I'm really high on Glooks. (Street name for Glucose)

She, for whatever reason seemed to believe that there was no one on earth that aspired to being a fireman anymore. At this point I told her it was the most rewarding job I could possibly have. 

Several minutes into conversation dripping with sexual innuendo, she told me she needed to go change the music, because people here were "playing too much gangster music" and she was having a hard time coping...

We were listening to Jump Around, by House of Pain.

SOOOOOOO GANGSTER OMG!!!! LEMME HIDE MY WALLET!!! 

Why can't I go to a jam where the girl pushes me over to play Wu-Tang at full volume? Maybe she wouldn't believe I was a fireman as easily though.

It's weird how Fireman is correct in my computer dictionary but firefighter is not.

Macs are bigots...