Tuesday, January 06, 2009

How Does That Feel Baby

Here it comes. The first rant of 09. I’m all for public displays of affection, if you want to kissy face with your girl or boy, get it on. I really don’t think it’s a big deal, holding hands, hugging, all that luvy duvy stuff is A OK with me. But we all know that too much of anything is too much. I was on the train coming home from work. I was feeling pretty good after a solid day, but also very tired. My plan at this point was to listen to one of my favorite bands right now, “We Are Scientists” all the way home, eat a delish dinner watch the basketball game and go to bed, only to wake up and do the same thing... tomorrow. (Word to MF DOOM).

When I’m on the train I like to close my eyes and sleep and yesterday (when these events took place) I was feeling very fortunate because the train was nearly empty and I had a whole section to myself. This was the start to an excellent trip home. That is until the couple from hell decided their preferred seat on the train would be the one beside mine.

I looked down to see what the rattling by my foot was. I suppose I was mildly surprised to see two twelves of Canadian. This was probably my first alarm that these people were going to make me fucking mad. I was disappointed that my seemingly perfect train ride was now going to be less than stellar. To salvage the trip home I settled down in the most comfortable position I could and pressed play on my ipod. Call it a genius’ intuition but I opened my right eye only to see the man groping his lady friend beside me. He started out rubbing her knees, moved up to her hips and then slid his hands down to her thighs and gave her a vicious rub down.

I would not lie to my readers, so you can believe me when I say this seriously was not okay train rubbing, this was 12am bedtime rubbing. I was getting pretty turned on. Which only made me moAR upset. Apparently he wanted to say something private to her because he leaned in and pulled the closest close talker shit I’ve ever personally witnessed. I kiss girls…I don’t talk close to them, unless we are naked, that’s just a rule I have.

If you can’t tell how much these people were making me rage, let me make it crystalline clear. I wanted to…well, okay I’ll tell you. I wanted to ask him if he thought what he was doing was very appropriate, and if this was a lady he really respected, because where I come from we don’t treat a lady like that. That’s right, I wanted to crush his heart and make him feel terrible.

O before I forget, I want to tell you guys about my Rubik’s cube, so if I don’t post about that by tomorrow night, someone remind me, also I have not forgotten about the Tuesday poll, that will be up before 12 tonight, I have NO idea what it will be about right now, but I’m sure we will think of something.


Nat-attack said...

hahahaha.....WHAT?!?! bent we need to seriously discuss this...."I kiss girls…I don’t talk close to them, unless we are naked, that’s just a rule I have." <--- what is that about?!?!? since when...haha

Cakemaster said...

Horny basterts.
I've never heard it being called "talk close" lol

Kid Vincent said...

I doubt i've ever had a conversation with a girl where our lips weren't touching.