Monday, September 28, 2009

The Takeover



Well it looks like this blog has been abandoned by it's original owner. So, I say me and Vincent are taking up squatters rights.

As new co-president my first order of business is this comic strip because things are changing around here.

Second order of business is an online form of freestyling called textstyling.

pajama grandma man handling the sandbar eating eggplant and squashing old can cars/
soft sofa sitting up loafting wid da tv tough scoping out channels to increase my meaty loft/
dont scoff hata scapegoat wid da gators get eating alive and served with tomatas/

word.


Saturday, September 26, 2009

This post will get you laid. Read On.


Maybe one day I'll understand why the sun wears sunglasses.
I miss being allowed to suck at drawing. Now people are incredibly blunt about it. If you aren't Monet you have to openly apologize to everyone in the room for how bad your drawings are.
There must be a way for me to legitimately justify my terrible drawings in MS paint. There has to be a way to get my work in the AGO.

Could I just be an installation piece? Could I stand there freestyling to some Bach? Classical Gas?
There has to be a way.

Do you ever see ads for Condos in construction?
"Okay... So we're trying to get people excited about living here. For today's shoot, Maria you're gonna have to wear a particularly revealing business suit and balance all sexy-like on a yoga ball, sound good?"
As a hapless witness to these kinds of posters (Women in bikini's looking out on their patio etc.) I am always bummed that I don't live in an apartment.
Is that really what it's like? Where do I sign up?
How is it that advertisers know exactly where to put something sexy to make me want to buy stuff? I feel like if it was my job, I would overdo it. I'd have Megan Fox half naked selling everything from underwear to Triple Whoppers.

Have you ever had a bad pizza? Is that possible?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

OH MY GOD FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME FUCK ME!!!



I actually hate these games, they're so boring.
BUT THEY LOOK SO GOOD!!! AH!!!!!!!
Not to mention this song really hits the spot for me considering I've had a serious hard-on for DnB these days.
Yeah say what you will...

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

In case you were wondering


I have an iron deficiency.
But you probably knew that already.












40s
triple whoppers
girls naked with just socks on
really easy video games
kick drums
witnessing street fights
guitar hero/rockband with friends/would-be lovers
Kid Cudi
original yet still aesthetically pleasing sunglasses
Lion King
getting a hole in one
drunk scattegories
drunk texting
drunk sexing
being drunk in general
homemade cassette tapes
being acknowledged for being "trendy as fuck"
the allure of New York
the allure of chronic
fooling around with but never actually paying for obscure musical equipment in stores
making faces in the mirror
high fives

These are a lot of my favourite things.
Ever felt really alive?