Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Hooray Night Bus

A woman licked my face the other day.

Is that anti-climactic? Should I have saved that detail for the end of this post? I never really paid much attention in creative writing, I just put pen to pad. 
P.S. I skipped a lot.
So as I was saying, I was at a house party the other night. 
This sounds juicy now doesn't it? Almost a little arrogant huh? Why would Kid be writing about how some chick licked him, that's none of my business! Stop bragging!

Hah, yeah except you're an idiot.

I was at a house party the other night. Things were going well, I saw some friends I hadn't seen in a while, I drank some brewskis and jagerbombs all while grinding on every piece of pussy that walked in the door. Except of course with those fuckin' skanks.

Just kidding guys... Jeez....

So as the party was dying down we let off some smoke bombs and made like trees. (Dead serious, we really had smoke bombs. It was fucking sweet.)
As me and two friends waited for the bus some 33 year old crackhead lady came over to ask for a smoke.
I told her I didn't have any and she accused me of lying.
Jokingly I told her I had a bunch and I was actually gonna go home and smoke them all at the same time. NICOTINE!!!! 
She said despite me being handsome, she didn't like it when I lied to her, I told her she LOVED IT when I lied to her. In fact it makes her crazy for me.
I continued to explain to her that I had just finished lifting a tonne of bricks and that I was actually the Incredible Hulk.

You won't like me when I'm angry.

Now while I was telling her all this, she began to moan and she proceeded to lick my face.

I swear to god. She licked my face.

Her male friend told me he planned on not touching "that" for the night. Upon hearing input from someone who wasn't entirely out of their mind I fell down on the ground laughing.
My new girlfriend took this opportunity to STRADDLE me and continue to lick my face.

At this point I was kind of freaking out, I asked her why she was doing this and all she said was "It's ok, I'm a nurse." I promise you won't get conjunctivitis.

We opted to sit at the back of the bus to avoid her, regardless of the current month.