Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Wizard Party (Finale)

So you wanna win big do ya. Wanna slam dunk the ball for the ladies. Elbow crush the hearts of the haters and kiss the aortas of your followers. You want fancy cars made of diamonds and you want diamonds made from carbon that is crushed by more diamonds. You want biiiig sandwiches and large drinks, you want fast women and crazy drugs. But what about the rest of us you think we wont take the things you want. This is no FPS lacking of co-op no sir we are out there and we want your stuff. I have a huge sac just for the occasion. I don't even want half the stuff in the sac but I fills it up anyways just to let everyone know that "if its my sac, its my rules hommie!" Here's a true story a couple gangsters started yabbering about politics and I happened to be listening. One guy was like "Yo, I dont be feeling none-a-dis republican jargon" the next guy chimes in "hol up hol up cause straight up and down you dun know its a basterdization of politics". So what did I do I told those hardcore men, men who kill for food, men who would slay a fake for posting on the block that "if its my sac, its my rules". I noticed this post was getting a little aggressive and I was going to edit some of it you know so the little kittens could read it with the puppies together under a rainbow and not get frightened then I thought "my sac, my rules!"

If everyone was dancing nothing would get done thats why I don't dance but those who do probably like to party. So after following the bum into the forest my date and I heard loud thumping sort of like when you go to Scarborough and hang out near one of the "urban" areas and you see Honda after Honda thumping down the street. Here's a side note for the thugs stop buying the same Honda do you know how easy that makes it for the cops to catch you or do you already know and you just dont care. Im pretty sure you don't care you guys rock. Turns out all the thumping wasn't my initial idea which was giants using human heads as dice and crushed grandmas as chips for a rousing game of backgammon. Nope it was actually a massive rave in the middle of the park which was sick because that meant the whole time we were following a party bum and not a raping bum. We didn't stay at the rave too long because I was scared I might build up the courage to try some extacy and my date got nervous after she heard some kids ranting about the lack of weed and acid (which by the way are nowhere close on "getting high" scale). So we headed back to my car.

Now I don't know how women work many of us guys get together to smoke the finest cigars, discuss the economies of foreign coutries like taipai and eventually try to draw some correlation between our experiences with the opposite sex but still there is no best fitting line. So when we got back to my car and my date proceeded to hop into the back seat and take all her clothes off I followed her lead because like I said I dont know how it works. later discussions have led me to believe the whole situation of following the party bum into a forest where there was a rave actually got her excited enough to get naked so I guess thats one way to do it. Either way the windows were steamy enough for none to be the wiser which was good because no sooner then me Kobe'in the situation did this cheesecake park right beside my car. What is wrong with you losers what your car can't be alone for one second it has to be parked beside other cars so it doenst get lonely. I got news for you my car is a badass its killed plenty of small animals and you know what it likes it so you're doing your baby a diservice by parking next to me because Noreaga (my cars name) has some war stories that'll have you shaking for example one day he drove through a red light to kill a blind man's dog crazy thing is the car was in cruise control from about 2 miles out because he timed it perfectly; oh I almost forgot we were driving backwards aaahaha. This guy starts pounding my car door with his car door because hes an idiot which put me in a bit of a perdicament because I was wrist deep in this girls pants. I thought about it for a second and before I could decide what to do she had an orgasim in the back of my car while some pumpkin pie was slamming his door into mine. Right after she was done she started slapping me and calling me an idiot which was so confusing cause I thought orgasims made you happy at the most and tired at the least. So I went back to the cigar bar and my brother brought up an interesting point

"She didn't want to cum in her pants"

now that is fair.

.......I see crippled people...